2025 Wrapped
Another year, another wrap-up! As always, I’m writing from the liminal space between Christmas and New Year's. So far, I’ve spent it sleeping in far too late, re-watching Sharp Objects, and doing an ungodly amount of scrolling. During said doomscrolling spells, I’ve seen the usual year-end comparison videos and posts. Ones that say things like “2024 me wouldn’t even recognize 2025 me,” or “I’m a different person at the end of this year than I was at the beginning.” I’ve been thinking a lot about this idea that we transform over the course of time and become someone completely new. I’ve changed quite immensely this year. I’ve gone to new places, made new friends, started taking care of myself and my health in a way I haven’t before. And I plan to change even more next year, I’m gonna graduate from undergrad, and hopefully get a job and apartment. I might move to a new city or a new country. Who knows, whatever it is, it will be different from the routine I’ve found comfort in for the past four years. And while that terrifies me, I don’t see it as a complete transformation of self. It’s more like an evolution. I was Sidnie in undergrad, and I will grow into Sidnie post-grad, whoever she is. But ultimately, she will still be me as I have always been.
Lately, I’ve been having this weird feeling, almost like I’m regressing, but in a good way. I’ve been making a lot of Dubsmash-esque dance videos on TikTok, and texting my friends incessantly with any brain-rotted nonsense I’ve found online. I feel similar to how I felt in 2018, posting every stupid thought and dumb joke on my spam account (if you remember @barbie.drippinn, you’re my cousin on my Instagram side). I feel silly and childlike in a way I haven’t in a while. I’m staying up late and waking up later, and I don’t feel any pressure to fix that. When I go back to school, I’ll surely have to be an adult again, but right now it’s fun. I’m saying all this to say that I think every step I take to “grow up,” to become this different, new person, is really to just become her again. Every job, every class, every relationship, it’s a step back to her. I want to be free enough that I can be stupid and fun all the time, not just when I’m bored out of my mind and have nothing else to do. Every measure of growth is me getting closer to myself, not becoming a new, unrecognizable person. I wanna be more like her, more free, more silly, more strange. Not that I was a perfect, non-troubled child. Just that I was still myself, despite it all.
2026 will be full of change–my least favorite thing ever in the whole world. It’ll definitely change for the better, but it doesn’t mean it won't be uncomfortable or even painful. I’m already pre-anxious about it, but for now, let’s not dwell on future pain. Instead, let’s dwell on the past! I present my favorite music, movies, and mantras of 2025! Enjoy :)
Music
Virgin - Lorde
Speaking of a return to my middle school self, Virgin was naturally my favorite album of the year. I’ve been a Lorde fan as long as I can remember; her music has soundtracked my life for the last ten years. It’s a special feeling to grow with an artist the way I’ve grown with her. She learns all the difficult life lessons before I do, and then I get to use her music as a guide while I navigate them myself. I think this album is the reason I’ve found so much peace in the high highs and low lows of 2025. Its central theme is a kind of return to innocence, embracing the unknown and leaning into its mess. When it came out in June, I was caught in my own whirlwind of confusion and fear about my life. I wondered what was coming next, how I was going to finish my final year of school strong and set myself up for success once I graduated. I still don’t know, and people keep asking me. What’s next? Where are you going? What are you doing? I don’t know, genuinely. And for now, that’s ok. I have enough trust in myself to know that it’ll work out. I’m scared, of course, nothing can make me not scared, but I’m leaning into it instead of pulling away. And I think a lot of that is thanks to this album.
She’s so unabashedly herself on this record, so much so that it’s uncomfortable at times. There are a handful of lyrics on this album that make me cringe with embarrassment, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s perfect because it’s imperfect. That’s not to say the music is bad–far from it. What Was That is arguably one of the best songs of her career. The devastating crescendo it builds to at the end feels like pure magic. It’s an explosion of raw, unfiltered rage, sadness, fear, everything. It’s not the polished ballads of Melodrama or the pop-teen angst of Pure Heroine; it’s not trying to go backwards and recreate a moment in time, it’s bursting at the seams with the present. I found it stunning. It’s not her best music, but it’s her most honest and true, and I think that’s what made it resonate with me so much this year. In trying to become more myself, this album was a lifeline. In July, I listened to Hammer almost every day on repeat, singing the words like an affirmation. It grounded me in the confusion of the present.
I saw her live twice this year, once in September and once in December, both on the Ultrasound tour. Her artistry has always been something I’ve admired about her. She’s driven by the humanity of her art, how people interpret it, how people move to it, how people love it. I really admire it, and it’s something I want to incorporate into my work as someone whose artistry is (admittedly) driven by what I want for whatever I make. I’m just constantly in awe of her.
Essex Honey - Blood Orange
I was really blessed this year with music. Essex Honey came out in August, and it was my second-most listened-to album of the year. Blood Orange has been making music for a long time, for himself and for so many different people. But similar to Virgin, this record feels like a kind of return to self. It's his most personal piece of work to date, named after his hometown of Essex and written out of the grief of his mother's death. There are very few words to describe it; it’s painfully raw and has a beauty I haven’t felt in his work since Negro Swan. When Somewhere In Between and Mind Loaded first came out, I listened to them on repeat in Ireland until I couldn’t stand them. I waited a few days, then came back, and they felt new as ever. It’s truly heartfelt music that puts words to a devastating experience. I’m grateful that I haven’t experienced grief on such a large scale in my life yet. Blood Orange’s depiction of it is heart-wrenchingly honest and delicate. It makes me feel a kind of childlike sadness. There’s a kind of confusion that accompanies the melancholy; you don’t know where it’s coming from, and searching for answers just leaves you more confused. It’s stunning, truly. One of those things that’s so beautiful and so delicate that there aren’t words to describe it. You just have to feel it to know. If there’s any album that came out this year worth listening to, it’s absolutely this one.
Fancy That - PinkPantheress
Not to be like every other bitch, but I’ve been a Pinkpantheress fan since she was a nameless, faceless artist on TikTok. She’s been so consistent in her artistry for a long time, and it’s so nice to see her finally getting her flowers. Every project she puts out gets better and better, and Fancy That is truly her best work. It’s so precise and well thought out, yet infused with so much fun. The production and engineering are absolutely pristine; each song is tailor-made perfection, honestly. It’s the pop music of the future. It takes the genre and elevates it to new heights, incorporating different cultures and styles to make something both familiar and new. I couldn’t stop listening to it when it first came out. I played it over and over, and each time it felt brand new. Stateside might be one of the best songs ever created, genuinely. When that beat DROPS for the first time, it’s magic. It’s music made to move to; you can’t help but pop a hip when it comes on. It’s also so beautiful to see her grow into her confidence as an artist. Every interview, red carpet, and concert, she’s looking more and more like herself. Splendid, truly.
Honorable Mention: Iris Silver Mist - Jenny Hval
I listened to Jenny Hval for the first time this year. I saw a tweet that said something to the effect of, “8.0 is the new 10 for Pitchfork,” accompanied by pictures of other albums I’d listened to, which were rated an 8 by Pitchfork (one of which was Eusexa, another 2025 banger). I thought, if I liked those, I might as well give this Jenny Hval lady a listen. I didn’t know that my life would be changed forever by that tweet. Iris Silver Mist is artistry at its highest capacity. It’s conceptual, but it’s also an amazing listen. Each song has its own personality, but they blend seamlessly. It’s genuinely incredible, and I can’t get enough of it. I listened to it almost every day I was in Ireland.
Movies
Weapons - Dir Zach Cregger
Weapons was probably my most anticipated movie of the year, and it absolutely lived up to the hype. I’m not the biggest horror fan, but I like scary stuff that makes you think. Not in an intellectual way, in a “I’m too much of a pussy for straight jump scares” way. I think horror is one of the most productive genres for socio-political analysis. So much of how our world is structured is based on fear. People fear God, so they believe in him and follow His word, no matter how outdated or restrictive it is. Republicans fear LGBTQ+ people corrupting the “American family,” so they cancel AIDS remembrance day and ban gender affirming care. Five years ago, we were all so afraid of another Donald Trump presidency that we (y’all, I wasn’t old enough to vote yet) voted for Joe Biden. But that’s the thing about fear, it’s not sustainable. It doesn’t move anyone to action; it paralyzes. Which is why right now we’re living what we feared four years ago. I think what really spoke to me about the Weapons is how it engages with these ideas of fear and safety. The families in the film live in a wealthy, overpoliced neighborhood that promises them safety behind their white picket fences. But danger can come from everywhere, evil can’t be warded off. It’s unexplainable, it’s unfair, it’s cruel. Nothing can save you from the unknown. It simply is. Living in fear is only letting yourself be even more vulnerable to the inexplicable cruelties of life. No one in that movie is safe, no matter how afraid they feel. It’s the greatest equalizer, but it's also the greatest thing holding them back. Weapons really tore this idea open and laid it bare for audiences to see. It’s unabashed in its ambiguity; everything means something, so nothing means anything. Despite the few jump scares, I really loved it. Julia Garner and Josh Brolin are at their peak in this. And although she was only on screen for 5 minutes total, June Diane Raphael is always a scene stealer.
One Battle After Another - Dir. Paul Thomas Anderson
Paul Thomas Anderson is quickly becoming one of my favorite directors. The Phantom Thread is required for New Year's Eve viewing in my house. One Battle After Another wasn’t a huge thinker for me; I was more enthralled by its cinematography and the performances. My three black queens, Teanna Taylor, Regina Hall, and Chase Infiniti, stole the show. Each of their performances carried so much power and delicacy at the same time. Regina Hall, in particular, blew me away. She carries her strength in that film with such a quiet tenderness. It’s incredible to watch. I don’t have much to say about this movie cause I didn’t think that hard about it (crazy, I know). There was genuinely too much going on for me to process it all in the theatre. Maybe I’ll rewatch it and find something to write about. I just remember walking out of the theatre and feeling awe-inspired, which is always what I’m looking for in a film.
Bugonia - Dir. Yorgos Lanthimos
As I write this, I’m currently re-watching Bugonia with my mom, and she guessed the plot twist before the movie even started, as moms do. I love how Bugonia plays so heavily into the absurd; it’s one of my favorite things Yorgos Lanthimos does as a director. In a way, it makes the movie more realistic. Life is absurd. Maybe aliens are walking among us, and we don’t know. But even if they’re not, (REDACTED) is onstage with Nicki Minaj telling boys it’s ok to be men, which is pretty absurd to me. In playing into absurdities and fantasies, we get closer to the truths of our realities. We believe things because we have no other choice, we find faith in the unknown because what we know is too painful to be believed. Aliens and spaceships are easier to understand than Nicki Minaj being a spokesperson for Turning Point USA. That was a whole bunch of gibberish to say. I love this movie. Emma Stone reaches a crazy flow state in the second act, and Jesse Plemons' performance is batshit fucking crazy. Shout out to whoever did the FXs because he looks so dirty and greasy the whole time, it was making me kind of nauseous. This movie also does something important in that it reminds us to have empathy for the “crazy” people. Conspiracy theorists, that one customer who comes into your job bi-weekly asking for products you don’t sell, your coked-out uncle, it’s easy to discredit these people as unreliable just because they don’t seem well. But it’s their difference that allows them to pick up on things the average, linear-thinking person might not. Listen to people different from you; you might learn something.
Honorable Mentions: Sentimental Value dir. Joachim Trier and Hamnet dir. Chloé Zhao
Both of these movies are movies you watch once and then never again, especially if you have a complicated relationship with your father. They’re also both perfectly cast. Sentimental Value was stunning; every performance was perfection. Of course, Renate Reinsve and Stellan Skarsgard were amazing, but I was really moved by all the supporting performances. Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas as Agnes was incredible. She had this younger sibling quietness about her, and when she finally exploded on her father, it felt like such a warranted release. I was also particularly blown away by Elle Fanning. She plays the part of an actress so well, she has this innate streak of ditziness, even when she’s trying the hardest to be serious and emotional, it’s just a little off. I couldn’t get enough of her onscreen. Hament is a whirlwind of emotion, high highs and low lows. I’ve heard some people call it “emotionally manipulative,” which is the dumbest shit I’ve ever heard. It’s a movie. That’s the point. I’d let Jesse Buckley as Agnes emotionally manipulate me any day. She’s genuinely letting god use her as a vessel during the duration of this movie. From the moment she opens her eyes in that first shot, she’s electric. There’s a buzzing behind her eyes that is suddenly gone when she’s struck with grief. She’s genuinely incredible. There will be no competition at the Oscars this year for best actress. Also, the boy who plays Hamnet needs a Nobel Peace Prize. I’m not even kidding. He’s out of this world.
Mantras
“You have to flop, so you know what it means to slay.”
The first half of 2025 was the tail end of my flop era. You think a flop era can’t happen to you, until it does, and there’s nothing you can do about it. It literally feels like you’ve been cursed, and the wizard who cursed you died before he could break the spell. As uncomfortable as it feels, it’s important you live in the flop for a moment, let the flop overtake your mind and soul. It’s going to feel like shit. You might not have any friends, in which case it’ll feel even worse. But when you really sit in that flop, when you live that flop, you come to appreciate a true slay. My flop era was long and painful (see the What I Learned section of my 2024 year in review), but it was necessary. It taught me that slaying is a privilege one should never take for granted; it can be taken away in the blink of an eye. It also taught me that slaying isn’t about the people around you or the material conditions of your life; it’s about what you put into the world and what you take from it. Slaying is truly a state of mind, and in the words of Kevin Gates, when you change your perspective, that’s when miracles happen.
“Take That Beta Blocker”
Borrowed from most-hated on twitter HBO girl Rachel Sennot, I don’t mean this one in the literal sense (well, kind of). More so, I mean, you have to do whatever it is you need to do to be your best self. It can be as simple as waking up 30 minutes earlier so you have time to eat breakfast, or going on a walk when you have a break in the day instead of scrolling on your phone. It’s the little things that make life worth living, the little ways you can take care of yourself and show up as your truest self. For me, that’s taking my beta blocker as needed and taking as many walks as humanly possible. It might be different for you, but whatever it is, it’s your responsibility to do it. When you finally do, you’ll feel so much better. Trust me!
“Few Solid Niggas Left But It’s Not Enough”
The world is becoming an increasingly scarier place by the day. It’s also becoming an increasingly stupider place by the second. Those children who got left behind are now adults who use ChatGPT to send emails and make grocery lists. It seems like everyone is willing to give up their autonomy; no one wants to do anything, they just want an endless stream of stimuli shoved in front of their face like the people in Wall-E. To parlay a phrase from Kendrick Lamar, there are a few solid niggas left, but it’s not enough. I’m lucky to be surrounded by like-minded people who enjoy having functioning brain cells, but I worry that soon we’ll be outnumbered. A fear I’ve been pushing to the back of my mind lately is that when I’m finally in a place in my career to publish a novel, there will be no one around to read it. I saw an interview the other day with RF Kaung, where she said AI could never replace writers because it has no individual experience. It has nothing new to bring to the table, only recycled ideas from other people made to seem new. I think this is a true and great point, but my worry isn’t that AI will replace writers; it’ll kill our audiences. If everyone is married to their AI echo-chambers, no one will want to read alternative world views anymore, no matter how creative or interesting.
This prospect of the world genuinely terrifies me. I don’t want to live in a world where everyone is stupid and illiterate. I hate being the smartest person in the room. I say all this to say, this year I prided myself on being a “solid nigga.” I read books and watched movies. I talked to strangers and learned new things. And I’m better for it. In 2026, I hope you feel inspired to be a solid nigga in every room you walk into. Put that chatbot down, and open your eyes to the beauty latent in each and every day. There’s nothing fun or cute about relying on ChatGPT to live. Take pride in your individuality and your intelligence; it’s the only thing left that’s truly yours.
2025 was a lot. 2026 is going to be even more. I see a storm on the horizon, and instead of turning away, I’m running headfirst. Next year, I want to live a life of fulfillment. I want to live a life that makes me feel happy and satisfied. I want to help other people do the same. I want to go swimming more than I did this year, and I want to make new friends. I don’t particularly want to get a job, but I’d like to get one doing something meaningful. I want a lot for myself next year. I don’t know how I’ll make it happen, but I know I will. I have this innate trust in myself that is borderline insane, so I already know it’ll all work out. I’m hopeful, and scared, but more hopeful than scared. Thank you all for taking the time to read my writing when you can, and for checking out my blog. It means the world. I’m grateful for everything and everyone, and I can’t wait to see how this community grows in the future. I’ll report back this time next year and let you know how it goes :)
